Lisa's Culinary Atrocities

     Hanukkah begins at sunset, this Tuesday, December 20th.  Bring on the latkes and dreidel!

Last year I had the supreme privilege of celebrating Hanukkah with an incredibly lovely group of people.  The experience was moving in many regards, and the warm feelings of family and tradition still resonate in my mind.  Out of the many memories, one of the most delicious ones was Elyn’s latkes.  I am telling you, they were some of the best food I’ve experienced.  So, this post is in appreciation of Elyn, not only as an excellent cook, mother, and creative dynamo, but as a deeply loving, kind and spiritual person.  My latkes will never be yours, Elyn (um…especially considering I purchased them frozen from Trader Joe’s), but would you waffle yours?  ;)

Please check out her work.

Much love to the entire Shindler-Moldow family…

     I cannot believe it took me this long to finally waffle a grilled cheese sandwich, but today was the day: Buttered Demi Miche, Dalmati Fig Spread, oven caramelized onions and Tintern Welsch Cheddar with chives and shallots.

The Demi Miche is dense, rustic and a bit sour.  The Tintern Welsch Cheddar with chives and shallots (found at Trader Joe’s) is semi-firm like Feta, sharp yet aromatic, and very rich.  Cast iron oven-caramelized onions add a sweet tang, yet have that certain deep caramel flavor that only comes from cast iron.  The Dalmati Fig Spread is…figgy and sweet, so I only used enough to taste the fig without over-doing the sweet.  Overall, the balance of these flavors was a fantastic combination. This waffle lab has given me oodles of ideas!

Oh, and I am happy. :)

I really didn’t think I would have the inclination to craft a post this week, certainly not because of a lack of photographs, but just because…whatever.  However!  I had leftover Thanksgiving garlic mashed potatoes that just didn’t taste good cold so I decided to waffle it (them?).  Yeah.  And it was good.  Like better-than-potato-cake good.  Crispy, covered in dill and olive oil.  Lip smacky…even better than they were originally.  Yo.

Dang those tomatoes are RED!

While shopping in the art supply, I mean grocery store, I came across a nifty little contraption made by Wonder Bread that both cuts the crust off and seals the sandwich (if not too thick).  Cute!  Not cute enough though, so…had to waffle it.

I prepared two different Waffini’s: Pastrami with cinnamon dusted Toscano cheese and an almond butter and pomegranate preserves, both on spelt bread.

They were both incredibly good—the spelt bread became lightly caramelized on the outside, yet warm and melty on the inside.  My pastrami filling was a bit much so the sandwich didn’t seal properly, but nonetheless, joyful mastication ensued.  Must add here that the Trader Joe’s Toscano cheese dusted with cinnamon is a fantastic cheese on just about everything I’ve tried.  It is very subtle, but apparent enough to add that hint of awesome.

A bread-pocket of tummy love.

     I’ve been a little obsessed with making Jell-O waffles for the past few months, so much so that I was on the brink of making my own molds.  But in a kind act from a force much more powerful than anything, ever, I came across the perfect pan: an ice cream sandwich pan made by Nordic Ware.  Ooooh, a new waffle apparatus! It took me a few tries to get it right, but behold: Orange and Lime JELL-O Waffles. (Ok, so Jello is spelled JELL-O->all caps, but I feel like I’m yelling “JELLO!”, which really, why not, but for the sake of a blog post I will compromise with Jell-O :))

Why Lisa, Why?  Well, ever since a visit with my Grandma Mary a few years ago, where she made my Father and I orange Jell-O with little marshmallows, I have become hopelessly attached to the the sweet gesture only a Grandma can provide.  Plus, being as terribly nostalgic as I am paired with my waffle obsession, it was bound to happen.  Drool away—especially you Daddy.

Scene of the original crime. (Not a crime…an act of love…awww)

     Time for Waffle Lab!  Mmm, what’s on the menu?  How about homemade pesto, roasted asparagus with Salish smoked sea salt and waffled polenta? Polentffles? Excellent…  P.S. Life is awesome. Yep.

As always, the dandy divots served their purpose: sauce receptacles of joy.  Waffling the polenta made it lightly crunchy on the outside yet retained the soft center.  The pesto, made with an asiago/fontina/parmesan blend, added a nice flavor variation to the pesto.  This was made again last night but with fried polenta and the addition of a really lovely piece of salmon cooked in olive oil and pesto.  While the outside of the polenta was not crispy, it was still certainly good and the pesto tied all of the textures and flavors together. I’d like to figure out how to make the polenta crispy as the texture would really add to the entire experience.  …Alrighty then.

In other news:

I’ve been kinda at a loss for words the past few weeks and even my camera has taken a short hiatus, which is very unusual.  I’ve been focused on living outside of my camera.  You read correctly.

This is nothing to be alarmed about :).  I am happy, doing many things I’ve wanted to do, living a sudden bounty of life that I was not expecting and gratefully appreciating each and every moment.

I feel like I am floating… with a slowly melting piece of the world’s most exquisite chocolate in my mouth.  Yeah.  And the softest blanket ever is carrying me along perfect 72 degree F winds that smell lightly of lilac and chocolate chip cookies.  Something like that.  And I have a cup of authentic slow-poured Italian espresso in my hand…and it’s a good hair day and everyone is in a festive and light mood.  And these new and not-so-welcome pimples have vanished.  Yeah. And there’s bubbles all around like at the end of the Lawrence Welk show.  And a unicorn is winking at me from behind the curtain.  Okok…so, I feel nice n stuff. 

Um, so anyway, I took at trip to the coast three weeks ago starting at the Tillamook Cheese Factory.  It was crazy crowded so I popped in for the sharpest grilled cheese of my life, snapped a few photos of the factory at work and went along my way.   I saw a LOT of cheese…

From there I continued west towards Three Capes Scenic Drive.  This is a gloriously beautiful drive if you ever get the chance—it’s one of those those drives you want to take everyone you know and love.

One of the most memorable spots for me was at the beach at Cape Lookout State Park, which I came across quite accidentally.  I spent a long time there, slowly walking up the foggy beach toward even thicker fog blanketing a tall cliff, listening to the crashing winter-like waves and thoroughly enjoying being the only person there.  It was very meditative, albeit chilly, but I like that.

Driving further south, up Three Capes Scenic Drive, there was a small scenic overlook that displays a breathtaking view of the same beach. The photograph does not capture the magnificence of this span of beauty.

A bit farther along the same road, at I believe the highest point, I found the center of the seemingly ever-present fog.  I drove into what seemed like a movie-like rain and wind storm in a thick forest of angled trees.  It was nearly 20 degrees F difference on each side of this point and 40 degrees different from Portland!  I laughed with pure joy as my hair blew and whipped about in the storm and the rain licked at my face.  The absurdity of stumbling across such an unusual occurrence on a warm summer day tickled me.

Have I ever mentioned how much I love Oregon?  I love love LOVE Oregon.  Wanna see it all.

…I just said “dude” and up-nodded at my little meow who chirped in camaraderie.

     I did it… I’ve been threatening to do it, and I did it.  Behold: Bacon Maple Waffle.

Using my favorite All Purpose Pancake & Waffle Mix made by the Cravings Place (which happens to also be gluten free), some pre-cooked Uncured Apple Smoked Bacon from Trader Joe’s, as well as Morning Star Veggie Bacon Strips (not exactly a whole food-but good as far as fake bacon goes), I poured some batter into my beloved waffle iron, placed the strips on it and topped with more batter.  Topped that with butter and dark, rich maple syrup, and you have a spectacularly decadent breakfast.  Yes.  And, err…the Apple Smoked Bacon was….*eyes closed and hand up* AMAZING. Crack, I tell you.  Crack.

(Thanks for the inspiration Matty Matt-Matt)

     What to waffle what to waffle…I know!  My favorite new meatballs: Quorn Meatless Meatballs.  It was the first waffling in my cute little apartment and it was dandy, I tell you, dandy!

“Great with pasta, Swedish meatball-style dishes, meatless meatball grinders and more! Delicious Quorn Meatballs are so flavorful and succulent that your meat-eating friends and family will not be able to tell the difference!”

This is true—I love these meatballs.  As a matter of fact, they are the ones that Robert and I served at our Tapas and Wine dinner at Dazzle, and they were a hit!  Made of mycoprotein rather than soy (so, mushrooms), they are a lot more meat-like than your typical meatless meatballs.  *There’s egg in them so they’re not vegan.

I made Capellini pasta with Trader Giotto’s Traditional Marinara Sauce, TJ’s new organic 100% Spanish garlic infused olive oil, roasted garlic, shaved Parmesan, Romano & Asiago cheese, and TJ’s new flower pepper which has rose, calendula, lavender and cornflower petals. Mmmhmmm.  I must say, this pepper is outstanding…as is the garlic olive oil.  One might think I work at Trader Joe’s, but I don’t—I am simply having a love affair with them. I also had a wonderful salad that included pea sprouts and microgreens…Trader Joe’s…yup.

Conclusion: While I do love these meatballs, I know that meaty-meatballs would have been a greater success.  My grand notion of marinara and garlic olive oil filled divots of yum was quenched as the Quorn meatballs are a bit too firm, but it was not a total failure, oh no.  The meatballs were kinda crunchy on the outside and soft on the inside.  If I cooked meat in my abode, this would be a really fun thing to do…

     My beloved Black & Decker waffle iron has gone to the big wafflarium in the sky.  It has given me a tasty year of exceptional divot riddled goodness and has stuck by me through even my most bizzare waffle labs. You will be dearly missed, sweet waffle iron.

BUT…BIG surprise! Robert secretly ordered me a spiffy new Cuisinart waffle iron a few days before my old one passed on; what timing!  Sooper YAY stylin’ waffles!  This definitely does remedy the anguish, as I almost feel like I have served my time in the trenches and have graduated to the beauty and splendor that is Cuisinart…dues paid, now at the top of my game. :)  

Can’t wait to make waffles this weekend!!  Thank you, dear Robert!