Lisa's Culinary Atrocities

     I found a new treat at Trader Joe’s—Chicken-less Pulled Chicken in Barbecue Sauce.  For the love of God, though not a perfect substitute, this vegan/meatless product is very good… so, let’s make a pot-pie with it:

Starting Halloween Eve Eve right: Spinach, fontina and roasted garlic sausage wrapped in Trader Joe’s Crescent dough.  Now it’s nap time before heading to the Shanghai Tunnels Ghost tour!

     My Friday afternoon priority: Hamburger….. and an expensive one. From Higgins. Yup. ($14!)

When it arrived, my mouth opened a little with salivatory awe; it was beautiful!   I eagerly sank my teeth into the toasted hearth-baked roll and through the thick, juicy, flavorful burger.  Very nom.   BUT, a few bites in I realize something’s missing.  No fries.  Bummer!  I am told they do not have deep fryers and I absolutely appreciate that, so deciding it was all about the burger anyway, I promptly got back to the cow-chewing.  But….I miss the fries.  I try to focus fully on the burger, not the things it comes with (or doesn’t in this case), but… fries.  Want fries. Fries…friesfriesfriesfriesfries. I start to obsess a little. 

I finished half of the burger and decided to bring the other half home.  I realized in the contemplative moment between signing the credit slip and whisking meal remnants from my person, that no matter how good a burger is, the burger experience as a whole is entirely dependent on what it comes with.  Perhaps this is just conditioning, but nonetheless, it’s a distinct sensation.  It’s like wearing one really nice sock and the other foot is bare and sitting in snow…or… something like that. Kinda. Hmmm. Maybe it’s more like, ah crap I don’t know.  It’s like something that needs something else to be a complete thingy…but not so much like peanut butter needing jelly…or…whatever…

So how do I turn this into a waffle worthy post?  Well, I take the burger half I brought home and waffle up a potato cake.  I found some at Trader Joe’s (surprise) that I have been saving for a special occasion and here it is.  They are divine: greasy, crispy and dare I say, better than the fast food variety.  Mouth, tummy and mind satisfied, but still, fries would have been better with the freshly cooked cow’wich.

One Year Ago:  Waffled Cinnamon Rolls

…topped with kalamata olive oil, kale, avocado, chili and Asiago.

SO simple:

-Trader Joe’s Cornbread Mix

-make like a normal ol’ waffle in your spiffy waffle maker

-top with desired ingredients

-consume

-nap

-repeat

This absolutely rivals Blossoming Lotus’ Spicy Avocado Sandwich!

Waffled Vegetable Samosas from Trader Joe’s—spicy, crispy and mighty tasty.

I received a great lasagna recipe from my friend Sheila and have meant to try it for some time.  Seeing as how the weather here in Portland right now is rather chilly, I decided that lasagna was in order (somehow that just pairs).

I have made a several modifications to her original recipe, making it completely vegan for zeh husband and also modifying it so I don’t have to use the stove much.  I have realized, since starting this blog, that I am an oven girl.  I avoid using the stove as much as possible, unless it’s to boil water/steam things.  Hmm.  I am not sure why.

So here it is:

Ingredients:

1 package extra firm tofu

1 cup plain, unsweetened soy yogurt 

1 small lime, juiced

1 roasted bulb of garlic

5 chopped green onions

1/4 cups nutritional yeast

1-2 Tbl. fresh rosemary

1 pkg Trader Joe’s soyrizo, relieved of it’s casing

1/2 bottle Amy’s Marinara Sauce

1 small steamed acorn squash

3 cups fresh & raw spinach

lasagna noodles (Tinkyada brown rice noodles, wheat and gluten-free and has a great texture)

(for me) rosemary asiago

(for him) Vegan Gourmet mozzarella

Panko

Zinfandel

 Instructions:

• Preheat oven to 350°F

• Open Zinfandel and pour yourself a glass.

• Make vegan ricotta by combining crumbled tofu, soy yogurt, lime juice, roasted garlic, nutritional yeast and rosemary, and let sit for 1 hour in refrigerator.

• Peel squash and cut into 1/4 inch chunks.  Steam until just soft.

• Combine soyrizo and marinara sauce in separate bowl.

• Boil noodles (or use no-boil)

• Layer: ricotta, noodles, soyrizo mixture, vegetables, repeat.  Top with panko. Bake until panko is browned.

As with most things like this, the second day is even better.  I think next time I will prep the lasagna and let it sit overnight in the refrigerator.

Note: This was a hit!  The sweetness of the squash contrasted so well with the spiciness of the soyrizo, and the textures were just wonderful.  The rosemary in the asiago, as well as the ricotta was fantastic.  I will definitely be making this again!

From yesterday’s pizza dough I made cute little pizzettas in tartlet pans:

Pesto, Tomato & Raclette du haut Livradois*

Spinach, Walnut, Garlic & Marinara

For the pesto, process until desired consistency:

1 bunch fresh basil

3/4 cups pecans (or whatever nut you like)

1/4 tsp. sea salt

5 cloves garlic

3/4 cups Kalamata olive oil

Vegan Pecan Pesto

* Raclette Description:

Produced in both Switzerland and France, Raclette takes its name from the French verb “racler”, meaning “to scrape.” Traditionally, Alpine cheesemakers would lunch upon boiled potatoes and cornichons, covered with melted cheese scraped from a rock near the smoldering fire. Raclette is a semi-soft pressed cheese, made of raw cows’ milk and washed with brine to impart a deep, fruity pungency. True to its name, it melts beautifully and can be scraped atop all manner of root vegetables for a winter supper.

Raclette du haut Livradois is from Livradois, France

Seriously, happiness throughout every cell right now.  On my daily trip to Trader Joe’s a few days ago they were sampling their new Soy Chorizo. Whoa—so surprisingly good.  No stranger to vegan food, or tasty animals these days (sorry), this product is not to be missed.  While I prefer to be meatless most of the time (and especially since my husband is vegan) I am wary of vegan products because they are still processed.  This one, however, has only a handful of ingredients:

–>TVP (texturized soy protein), water, soy oil, distilled vinegar, salt, spices, red pepper and garlic.

SOLD!  So tonight I decided to make soft tacos with the Soyrizo (thanks Deano), homemade pico-de-gallo and micro-greens. Cheese added, I am sure would also be fantastic.

I made my taco’s mini, surprise.

For the Pico de Gallo chop separately and combine:

-4 plum tomatoes (I used about a cup or so of cherry tomatoes)

-5 green onions

-1/2 cup fresh cilantro

-3 peppers, seeded (I used one red, one orange, one yellow–adds a bit of a sweetness that contrasts the spicy soyrizo nicely)

-a good squeeze of lime juice.-fold together and let sit in the refrigerator for about an hour.

After a few glasses of wine, heat up your soyrizo (remove casing first…it’s the consistency of ground beef) and make some fan-tasty tacos!

*Pairs sensationally with Trader Joe’s 2009 Grower’s Reserve Zinfandel (thanks for the recommendation Deano—it was PERFECT.) Which, by the way, if you ever need ANY information about ANYTHING wine or food related, Deano Sandoval at Trader Joe’s NW is your guy. Not only is he a wonderful man and talented artist, but he will not disappoint your taste buds. Going to create a new tag, just for him!